The Conspiracy to End Them All.

I was going to write something about how #TuckerCarlson needs to be stopped and how terrible he is but I think the vast majority of people know know this already. So, instead I’m going to post my theory about how tucker is slowly changing the color of his skin to orange.

So, here it goes. I believe that tucker carlson is changing his skin color to orange. Why you ask? It would be safe to assume its because ofchis bromance with trump but I think its bigger than that. I do think that carlson’s transition is inspired by trump but that the ultimate goal is to normalize trumps color similar to the way he attempts to normalize racism and to create a new race of people.

At some point I believe tucker will become so orange that the media won’t be able to ignore it any longer. They will eventually ask trump if he thinks tucker is doing it on purpose in order to look like him.

At a press conference trump will respond ‘we’re not orange. we’ve got the healthiest skin. people tell me all the time how healthy my skin is, they like it, a lot of people say they like it, doctors tell me they wish more people had my skin. maybe tucker and I have the same doctor, maybe not, i dont even know him.’

After tucker is done getting his daily pegging he’ll turn on the news, hear trumps comments, jump on his show, and restate trumps comments as if they are fact like he usually does.

Something like ‘doctors have been saying since the beginning of time that carotene is important but the left doesn’t want you to know that. They don’t want you to be healthy. #PresidentObama has begun buying all the carrots so that you can’t find them at the store because he wants you to die. Thats a fact.’

White people, fearing for their health, afraid that without carotene they will die, and not wanting to be the only one of their friends who isn’t orange will immediately make a run on carrots. A shortage will ensue, President Obama will get the blame, and the price/lb of carrots will skyrockets. The front page article by @CharlieLuffD about trump and tucker co-owning a carrot farm, profiting immensely, and how they frolic in the fields of the farm will get lost in the new 10 second news cycle.

The theory doesn’t stop there though. No, its not about carrot profits!

The white supremacist, run-of-the-mill racist, and trump supporters who “don’t have a racist bone in their bodies” and that “have a black friend” will begin to embrace the color orange.
Anderson Cooper will go on record to say that tucker and the “whole orange thing” is bananas.

Seizing the opportunity to divide the country further and take advantage of Cooper’s play on words, tucker declares that all white people who do not support trump are “bananas” and urges all trump supporters to start painting their faces orange. Doing this effectively separates the Orange right from the Banana’s, POC, Mexicans, Asians, Middle Easterners, and other non-Oranges. “Orange” and “Banana” will become proper nouns as they are now affiliated with the identification of classes of people.

This won’t last forever though. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Eventually the people who can’t pull-off the color orange, the less committed trump supporters, and those that remember that there is a movie called A Clockwork Orange will lay off the carrots and return to their lives as covert racists.

Finally tucker, a few fox news people, and trump and his family realize that they and white nationalist are the only people who are still Orange and can no longer disguise their racism.

In their attempt to divide the people OF the country they have only succeeded in dividing themselves FROM the country.

And that’s the theory of how tucker created and ultimately destroyed his own race.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you chuckled a little reading this. While the theory is obviously fake, I encourage you go to YouTube and watch a tucker carlson video or two. Watch a full trump speech too. After watching, I think you’ll see that the type of poison it would take for white people to turn themselves orange is the same poison that tucker and others like him use to turn white people against POC. It’s the same rhetoric they use to scare people and keep the status quo in check.

I’m also a bit hopeful that tucker, trump, and the people who think like they do are slowly painting themselves into a corner. I sincerely hope that we’re getting closer to the point where they can’t hide anymore. That the number of people who are complacent with following trump, tucker, and others are diminishing. White people are understanding how important it is to break with their silence. This may be causing the right to speak louder but we are speaking more frequently, with greater resolve, and a cohesive message.


When #BlackLivesMatter, all of our lives will have greater meaning.
When #BlackLivesMatter, our society will be stronger.
When #BlackLivesMatter, #OrangeLies can’t survive.


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